False Pretences Page 10

  Before Lara could say anything else, Greta returned with the macchiatos.

  “Now…” Venessa remarked, taking the paper cup proferred to her. “Let’s begin!”

  Later on that night, Lara had trouble sleeping. Every time she closed her eyes, Alexander haunted her with his devastating smile.

  She tossed and turned for over an hour before getting up and padding into her kitchen for some ice cream. It was her thinking food and she had a LOT to think about. Since her lecture from Venessa, she felt all sorts of confusion and didn’t know what to do with herself or Alexander.

  She went into her freezer and took out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Half-Baked” ice cream and grabbed a spoon from the cutlery drawer before perching herself on a stool at her kitchen island. She wasted no time in taking off the top and digging into her favourite treat.

  As she ate spoonful after spoonful of the delicious ice cream, she ruminated about everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks. She and Alexander went out on a few successful public dates (the proof was out on the tabloid websites immediately, laden with images of them playing the happy couple) and they spend an increasing amount of time together in private.

  In that amount of time, Alexander gave her no reason to be suspicious of him, nor did he show anything but the utmost affection towards her. Despite the fact that they were working together to fool the public, she could not deny the chemistry between them. He seemed to only have eyes for her and she rather enjoyed how attentive he was.

  On Sunday night, he merely showed up at her apartment with a bottle of wine and a movie. It didn’t matter that they had spent the earlier part of the day checking out the attractions. She’d been disappointed when he left to go home that she dreaded the evening. Then, her doorbell rang and there he was again. They had spent their time together drinking, enjoying the movie, and snuggling up together on the couch. It had been a long time since Lara had that kind of connection with someone, and she was disappointed when he had to leave to go home. She enjoyed spending time with him and it was obvious that he enjoyed it just as much.

  Sticking a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, her eyes travelled over to the bouquet of roses he sent to her earlier. He had no obligation to shower her with gifts and attention, yet he did it out of his own free will, with a smile upon his face. He was a stark contrast to Andrew, who never took the time to send her flowers or let her know he was thinking of her.

  Part of her was upset that Venessa would compare Alexander to swine like Andrew. They were polar opposites…it was almost an insult to Alexander to put him in the same breath as Andrew.

  ‘He is completely different from Andrew.’ She thought, putting another spoonful in her mouth. ‘It’s like he was thrown into my life for a different reason than for what I am using him for.’

  Venessa’s words haunted her and she sighed in resignation. As great as Alexander seemed to be, she couldn’t allow herself to fall into any emotional traps at that time. She knew full well that any man, as perfect as he seemed, had the potential to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

  She contemplated creating a list of pros and cons of pursuing anything with Alexander but thought the better of it. Although everything was surrounded by a haze of confusion, the answer was plain and simple…if she wanted her career to soar, she had to heed Venessa’s advice and distance herself immediately.

  Unfortunately, Lara knew she would be back at square one as soon as she saw Alexander. He had some kind of power over her and it scared her. It was not that he was a controlling man…his charm simply made her resolve disappear and rendered her a giggling, crushing schoolgirl.

  Looking down, she realized she’d eaten the entire pint of ice cream. Sighing, she threw out the empty carton and washed the spoon. As she padded towards her living room, her eyes travelled to the note Alexander sent with the flowers and she sighed again.

  Beautiful roses for the most beautiful lady in the world. I miss you and hope to see you soon!

  Alexander

  She picked up the note, looking at it like it was a forbidden treasure that had to be left where it was. The words were so simple, yet it made her heart constrict with yearning. He was becoming her Kryptonite and she was afraid that this would be the weakness that would complicate her life and career. She wasn’t sure if she could handle it.

  “I can’t torture myself like this!” She groaned, setting the note down on the counter. “I need to put distance between us…I need to keep a good head on my shoulders and avoid complicating things!”

  ‘You need positive influence like him in your life, not just in the public eye!’ her subconscious retorted, poking and prodding at her resolve. ‘You’re already developing feelings for him. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you want to take the path that would hurt him and yourself in the end?’

  Her subconscious was correct on all counts. She had developed feelings for him. If she distanced herself from him now, it could ruin everything they already had between them…her only chance at happiness. A man like Alexander did not appear in a woman’s life very often...he was a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Was she to squander it due to her friend’s overprotective words?

  Digging the heels of her hands into her eyes, she gritted her teeth against the swirling confusion inside her. Part of her wanted nothing more than to be in Alexander’s arms and the other part of her wanted to follow her friend’s advice. The uncertainty was killing her.

  “What am I supposed to do?” she sighed, removing her hands from her eyes. “I can’t allow myself to fall in love because it could destroy the success I am finally achieving! Yet, I can’t deny a man my full attention because of my career! Isn’t there a compromise?”

  ‘You must follow your heart, but don’t let it rule your head!’ her subconscious advised, offering an effective yet difficult solution…the very echo of Charlotte’s advice. ‘Take it slow and easy and everything you’ve ever wanted will come to you.’

  “I need to be wary and careful with Alexander…” she murmured, lost in thought. “But, I cannot stay away from him. I can’t deny what is between us. Will something have to happen before I decide to act upon something that scares me to no end?”

  Little did she know that something would happen the next day that would cause her to act on her feelings.

  Chapter Thirteen

  If someone had told Lara that Andrew would try to seep back into her life like the filthy disease he was, she would have laughed bitterly and sent them away. She was starting to be in a better place in her life and she didn’t need his presence anywhere near her.

  She was sitting in her studio late Tuesday afternoon, working on her painting of Alexander, when she heard a knock at the door.

  Hoping it was the very man she was painting; she hopped off of her stool and eagerly answered the door. When the man standing at the threshold was revealed, her blood ran cold and she began to wish she hadn’t answered in the first place.

  Towering over her, the British heartthrob flashed a devastating smile…the same smile he used on her when he spun his lies. His green eyes were full of mirth and his blonde hair shone in the sunlight that filtered in through the high windows.

  “Darling Lara!” he crowed, reaching out to embrace her. “Did you miss me?”

  Lara backed away as if he were a poisonous asp waiting to bite her. Revulsion crept through her body like there was no tomorrow.

  “What do you want, Andrew?” she asked warily, knowing the bastard was up to no good. The smile dropped from his face and the sparkling mirth dissipated as soon as it appeared.

  “Is that any way to treat your lover?” he asked her, pouting. “I’ve missed you, my darling!”

  Lara rolled her eyes and sighed. As she gazed at the man before her, she wondered absently what attracted her to him in the first place.

  “What’s wrong, lover?” she jeered, surprising herself and Andrew. “Did your whore of a socialite emasculate you? Or did she finally kick you
to the curb like the trash you are?”

  “As a matter of fact, I came to my senses and ended our engagement.” He replied, matter-of-factly as he leaned against the wall casually. “I made a mistake by letting you go!”

  Hearing those last words, Lara began to see red. Something inside her snapped and she was ready to give him the antagonism he’d long deserved.

  “A mistake, you say!” she sniped, all the pain he’d caused her erupting to the surface of her subconscious like an awakened, long dormant volcano. “Let me tell you what the real mistake was…falling for an insufferable prick like you!”

  “Lara, plea--”

  “No! It’s time you listened to me and you better listen good!” she yelled, interrupting him as she descended into attack mode. “I gave you everything! I was devoted to you and your worthless career! All you did was bring me down and humiliate me…and for what? The attentions of a slutty socialite?”

  Andrew said nothing, and Lara continued in her tirade.

  “You only stopped by because you heard my career is now taking off and being seen with me will give your shitty image a boost!”

  “But-“

  “But nothing!” she interrupted again, silencing him with a raised hand. “Now, why don’t you take your slime-ball ass, retrieve your manhood from your whore’s purse and forget you ever knew me!”

  Andrew looked upon her in shock. He had never anticipated that she would ever turn on him this way. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it when Lara turned to face the painting she was working on. With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the studio, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

  How dare he try to weasel back into her life after everything he had put her through?

  Angry tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she dug the heels of her hands into them. Upon removing her hands, dark spots clouded her vision and her subconscious became flooded with thoughts.

  She began to pace the room, wondering what her personal life had become. Here, she was in her early thirties and reducing herself to hiring a man to pose as her boyfriend…a man that she should have already had in her life.

  Other than Venessa, she had nobody to talk to and nobody she could really be herself with, especially in the wake of her failed relationship with Andrew. Then, Alexander came into her life and turned it upside down. He was just what she needed, but Venessa warned her to not let herself get too attached to him.

  She was heavily conflicted. Ever since they began seeing each other privately, Lara found that she liked him…really liked him. With each passing day, she found that the feelings she was developing for the very man she was pretending to date were intensifying and it added to her confusion. Days without his presence were dull, long and boring…even tedious.

  When she did get to spend time with him, the rest of the world melted away…all time stood still.

  To her, the sun and the moon rose in Alexander’s heterochromatic eyes. He made her feel things she’d never felt before with anyone else. Yet, she had to keep her distance.

  She knew she was still in a vulnerable state because of Andrew’s indiscretions and had to become more detached so that she wouldn’t get hurt again. But, the loneliness she’d felt for months was the ruling force in her mind and she didn’t know how else to proceed. Everything else took a backseat.

  Deciding to end her workday right then and there, she placed the oilcloth over the portrait of Alexander and prepared to go home. As she grabbed her purse and the keys to her studio door, she felt the need to reach out to someone. It was the most intense feeling she’d ever experienced and she knew she couldn’t deny it.

  Locking the door, she considered going to see Venessa but thought the better of it. She wasn’t in the mood to be lectured about the traitorous feelings stirring within her.

  Walking down the streets of Soho, she passed several couples walking hand-in-hand. She grimaced at the way the men and women looked at each other with seemingly perfect love and perfect trust. Why couldn’t she have that?

  Before she realized it, she had begun walking towards the street where Alexander’s flat was. She had never meant to drop in on him unannounced, but at that moment, she didn’t want to be around anyone else.

  Her need growing with each step towards Alexander’s front door, Lara ignored the little voice inside her subconscious that warned her about not following Venessa’s advice. With a shaking hand, she pressed the doorbell.

  Before she knew it, Alexander stood in front of her and her eyes began to fill with tears. The fond smile upon his handsome face melted away as soon as he saw her expression and he took her inside.

  “Lara” he breathed, helping her out of her coat before taking her hand and leading her into the living room. “What happened? Why are you crying? Did somebody hurt you?”

  Lara sat down on his sofa, wiping the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her pullover.

  “A..Andrew came to the studio about half an hour ago!” she sniffed, as he sat next to her, concern crossing his features. He took her hand in his and held it gently.

  “What did he do to you, Lara?” Alexander demanded, his jaw set and tense as he waited for her answer. “Did the bastard hurt you again? Tell me!”

  “He tried to reclaim his place in my life.” Lara explained, blinking back the flowing tears. “He acted as if nothing had happened six months ago…told me he made a mistake in letting me go!”

  “What happened next?”

  “I flew into a tirade and told him he was a slime ball and that he would be better off forgetting he ever knew me.”

  “That must have been really hard for you.” Alexander remarked, drawing her close and wrapping his arms around her in a sympathetic hug. “I hope he took the hint and left you alone.”

  “He did…”

  “Good” was his reply, as he pulled back to look at her. “The cretin didn’t deserve you and he doesn’t deserve your tears.”

  “He wounded me deeply with his lies and public indiscretions.” Lara said sadly, gritting her teeth at the way her heart constricted with pain.

  “Shhh…” Alexander crooned, drawing her in for another hug. “Let me take care of you…nobody can hurt you here when you’re with me. I will make sure of it.”

  For the first time since arriving at the flat, Lara smiled. Although she wasn’t sure about bothering him with her Andrew problems, she was beginning to feel glad she did go to Alexander. She pulled away, finally pulling herself together.

  “Thank you” She whispered, blushing when he returned the smile.

  “I would do anything to make sure that beautiful smile remained on your face.” He replied, brushing a tendril of hair away from her forehead.

  Lara flushed with pleasure at his compliment.

  “I’m glad I came here today then…” she remarked, the tension leaking out of her neck and shoulders as Alexander stroked her cheek with his thumb.

  “I’m glad you came by as well.” Alexander murmured, cradling her face with his hands. “I do rather enjoy spending time with you, Lara.”

  Lara looked into his eyes, biting her lip. She could feel the violent sway of her feelings as he leaned in closer.

  With that, he descended upon her, his lips meeting hers desperately. Although Lara secretly wanted it for some time, she panicked, wondering what to do…should she have left and avoided taking things further or should she remain where she was in his arms.

  ‘Be careful around Alexander.’ Venessa’s warning resounding in her head. ‘You don’t want to lose everything you’ve worked for because you fell for the wrong man.’

  Soon, Venessa’s voice was drowned out.

  ‘This is what you wanted!’ Her inner voice sounded, swirling through her thoughts like tendrils of smoke. ‘What are you waiting for? A written invitation?’

  ‘Remember what Venessa told you!’ her conscience instructed, rearing its head. ‘Everything you’re finally achieving will be reduced to ashes and dust if you let
yourself be manipulated by sentiment and lust!’

  Lara shut out all the voices as she stood rigid in Alexander’s embrace. Lust and uncertainty radiated off of her in alternating waves as he licked the seam of her mouth, demanding entrance. Common sense broke through the haze and Lara blinked a few times, assessing her situation.

  ‘He was hired to be my public boyfriend!’ She thought, her lips tightly pressed together. ‘I should be staying away from him, not throwing myself in his arms!’

  She put her hands to his chest to push him away, building a wall of resistance. Yet, his passion was pleasantly overwhelming and the wall she’d begun to construct crumbled down as soon as it was erected.

  ‘Screw it!’ She thought, allowing herself to enjoy the moment. ‘I’ve waited so long to find something like this…I can’t ignore the connection I have with him!’

  Parting her lips happily for him, she pressed into his embrace, baring her soul.

  Gentle, quiet groans escaped his throat as he hungrily pressed into her, his hands now roaming around her body. Soon, he pulled away, his breath ragged with lust. To Lara, it felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room, leaving her gasping in the vacuum left in its absence. The look on his face…in his eyes, caught somewhere between lust and adoration, made her heart skip a beat.

  “Lara…” he breathed, cradling her face again as he looked into her eyes deeply. “You mean a lot to me…I cannot bear to see you hurt. I only want to make you happy. Please don’t be afraid to let yourself go.”

  With that, his lips smashed against hers again. She moaned and sighed, letting herself fall into his arms. Gone was the indecision and the confusion along with it. It sounded so wrong to forget everything she was working to protect in her life for the man she wanted to spend time with, but it felt so right. Lara’s pullover landed on the floor without her even registering that Alexander had taken it off of her.